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            <title>Bush Accidentally “Cup-Checks” Chinese Ambassador</title>
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            <description><![CDATA[WASHINGTON, D.C. – A furious rush of shouts and screams was heard yesterday, as the Chinese Ambassador suffered a wound to his lower extremity. The (undisclosed) area was filled with security personnel and secret service in an instant.]]></description>
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            <title>Central Texas “Still Boring”</title>
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            <description><![CDATA[SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE OF, TX – On Tuesday, National Geographic announced its finished report on the current state of Central Texas. In an exclusive story, we document the trials that the creators of the report had to go through to bring this presentation to you.]]></description>
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            <title>Search-drobe Malfunction</title>
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            <description><![CDATA[Redmond, WA – Microsoft recently gave into the FCC and will soon be updating their new Live.com website.]]></description>
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            <title>Mass Murder in England</title>
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            <description><![CDATA[LONDON, England – A popular pub in the London Area bore witness to horrendous acts of homicide last Tuesday. Thirty-six have been confirmed dead, with even more wounded. Constables in the area are baffled.]]></description>
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            <title>Miracle Weight Loss Program Kills Thousands in Zimbabwe</title>
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            <title>Canada Sucks!</title>
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            <title>Red Sea Can’t Part, Instead Does Comb-Over</title>
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            <title>Lady Defending Herself With Maiz Charged With Battery</title>
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